sunday. what is my life

i wrote this on my phone at 11:46pm mid anxiety attack.

I walked past a cat the other day just napping under a hedge. He was probably there for hours.
Don't you just feel like sometimes society is giving you this template for your life and you're like... why can't i just be a cat enjoying the sunlight? Why must i go through expensive education to receive a degree for a job ill probably be stuck in for the rest of my life just so i can afford to live in a house and eat and survive?
No other species of animal has evolved so far as to create a society that will only give after it takes. Not that i don't enjoy higher order thinking or a concept of self.
Why can't i just live? Enjoy this wonderfully colourful and miraculous world and not have to worry about someone one day taking my car away because im not making payments, or my house because im not working for somebody else in an office job that will make me want to jump out of the window of whatever high rise building i have to trudge to every morning.
We only have one life and dammit i want to see every corner f this world and enjoy food of every culture. i want to swim in pristine clear water and sit under a waterfall. i want to walk on cobblestone roads and discover hidden shops in secret alleyways. I want to run in the rain, and i want to lay like a cat in the sunlight without the world expecting so much of me in return. I just want to live.

R