monday. afraid

I am afraid of many things. deep water. the ocean, usually. im not exactly an A-grade swimmer. the only memories i have of going to the beach include occasionally almost drowning in the deep ocean and being rescued by a classmate or friend who has to drag me into shallows. For this reason, i'm also not particularly fond of boats, either. or bridges. for my birthday last year my partner bought us two tickets to climb the highest bridge in Brisbane. so, that should be interesting ...

I'm slightly thanatophic. i cannot imagine suddenly not being. it scares me to think i will one day no longer see, hear, or think. i will be nothing, and i will be no one. i will be in the ground. or in the heavens. i haven't quite decided which yet.

I am also afraid of balloons. just when they pop. the idea of exploding rubber whipping me in the face or eyes scares me just a little. and the noise. that godawful noise that hits you like a truck - surprising and shocking at the same time. our instincts tell us to run at the first sign of danger. a loud noise, for example. a gunshot and a balloon popping i would imagine sound very similar. or else, that is my reasoning anyway.

r